We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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