Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
