So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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