Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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