I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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