I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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