Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
