Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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