so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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