you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
