Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
