I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
