so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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