i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
