the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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