I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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