The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
