carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
