Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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