She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
