The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
