Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
