So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
