There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
