I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
