Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
