She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize