I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize