One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
