Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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