I like my sex mixed with concussions.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
