My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
God, you're like boner-b-gone
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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