I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize