The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
