found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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