About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
