the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
