Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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