so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
