thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
