Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
