I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
