I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
