i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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