yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
