3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
