Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
