I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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