come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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