i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
