So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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