the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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