In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
