..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
