You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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