Dual....:-)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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