I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
