idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
