I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize