hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
